The Morning Sentinel

A DIFFERENT WRINKLE

July 27

An army of fun

By COLIN HICKEY

D-Day had arrived and Kimberly, the general, was taking no prisoners and tolerating no insubordination. So I took quick action, making sure to say out of her way as much as possible.

Kimberly is my sister-in-law. She is married to my youngest brother, David. Kimberly and David are the parents of five children under the age of 8, including twins, who are not yet 2.

Five children.

Kimberly and David are braver people than I. They are patient, self-sacrificing people. They are domestic heroes. And possibly, I think, they are slightly nuts.

Five children.

But let me return to the beginning. D-Day in their case refers to Departure Day, as in the day they had to begin their return home after a two-week stay with my parents, who also happen to have five children -- more on that later.

The average number of children per family in the United States in 2009 was slightly below two. There's a reason for that. I saw it on D-Day.

David told me a day earlier that he and Kimberly planned to start the trip back to Virginia right after lunch. In my naïve, parent-of-two-children mind, I interpreted this as meaning Kimberly and David wanted to give themselves plenty of time for Operation Return Home -- a leisurely affair rather than a frantic fiasco.

I was wrong.

D-Day started about 6 a.m. when Liam, who is 3, bounded down the stairs, ready for action. The rest of the troops came in waves, turning tranquility into chaos. They knew what the day was about. They understood that a big transition was in motion. The visit with their grandparents was over.

Kimberly and David had to deal with those emotions and feed children, wash faces, clean high chairs, change diapers, and pack a staggering amount of stuff at the same time. I'll be honest. Had I been in their situation, I would have abandoned ship, gone AWOL, tossed the White Flag or surrendered cowardly.

They did not. They soldiered on. They made use of every second available to them to fulfill the mission.

My parents long ago went through a similar scenario more times than can be counted. They endured the chaos of five children and -- somehow -- survived.

My eldest brother and his wife have managed this feat, too. They went from two children and courageously added three more. They have lived the life of never having time for themselves.

I talked to my sister on D-Day, a few hours after the departure. My sister also has no more than two children. We talked about family size. And she, too, was honest. She said two is as much as she could handle.

She said she does not possess the patience and self-sacrificing saintliness to take on five children on a daily basis. She said she knows her limits.

I know my limits as well. Five goes well beyond them.

But then not everybody can be a domestic hero.

Colin Hickey is an English teacher in Regional School Unit 18. His e-mail address is differentwrinkle@yahoo.com