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GEORGE SMITH: Town office offers wealth of data in (out-of-date) state brochures

Waiting my turn with the town clerk in Mount Vernon’s town office one rainy afternoon recently, my eyes glanced to nearby shelves full of brochures of every size and color. Wandering over, I noticed that most are government-issued and many are dusty and out-of-date.

The biggest is a book of public laws enacted by the 114th Legislature — in 1989. An attractive brochure, published by the Maine Development Foundation, advertises the 5th Blaine House Conference & Resource Fair for Small Business, hosted by Gov. Angus King on April 25, 2001. Sorry I missed that. But maybe I attended. Too long ago to remember.

There’s a lot of healthy advice from the Human Services Department’s Bureau of Health, including, “Calling it Quits, Free and Confidential Help to Quit Tobacco.”

There are dozens of brochures telling me how to legally change my name, from the helpful folks at the Human Services Department’s Office of Vital Records (could there be a lot of people in Mount Vernon who need to do this?).

A booklet stamped “Courtesy of Rep. Elaine Fuller” and printed by the Human Services Department’s Office of Child Care and Head Start is titled, “Steps to Choosing Child Care.” Fuller served more than 10 years ago so I’m not sure if those steps are still available. There are eight copies of a guide for unwed mothers and their new babies provided by the Human Services Department’s Office of Data, Research and Vital Statistics.

We’ve also got information about food supplement benefits from the Human Services Department’s Integrated Access and Support Services Office.

Seems like the Human Services Department has a lot of offices and bureaus.

The town office shelf is well-stocked with enrollment applications for the Healthy Maine Prescriptions program of — you guessed it — the Human Services Department — and 40 brochures offering a Pandemic Flu Emergency Kit.

I’m wondering if it’s possible to catch the pandemic flu from all the dust on these brochures.

Safety brochures abound. We have a huge stack of brochures titled, “Buckle Up Maine!” Gov. Angus King and Gov.-elect John Baldacci provided these guides to child safety seat and seat belt laws. They’re not exactly going like hotcakes.

The Department of Transportation may be short of cash for fixing our roads, but it’s still cranking out brochures. One is titled, “Hot Safety Tips from Flash for Maine Kids and Their Road Models!” Flash is a cartoonish character that looks a lot like a Styrofoam coffee cup — the kind people chuck out the window as they pass my woodlot.

And then there’s the DOT brochure, “Danger: Moose Ahead,” providing important advice like this: “If you see a moose standing in or near the roadway, use extreme caution, especially during mating season from late August through October.” Brilliant!

We really like Governor King out here in Mount Vernon, so I was pleased to see his brochure on the WIC program (Women and Infants). Do we still have a WIC program?

There are a half-dozen different brochures about birth and death records and two dozen copies of the Maine Driver’s Privacy Brochure.

There’s lots of information about invasive plants, including 20 brochures for confirmed infestations in 2007, 50 brochures listing 2009 infestations, and 30 brochures reporting 2010 infestations. Not sure what happened to 2008. Perhaps there were no infestations?     The Department of Inland Fisheries and Wildlife is well-represented with two brochures about invasive plants — one of which urges you to “Clean your boat before you float.”

My favorite is the brochure titled, “Your boat sticker and Maine — together we’re fighting aquatic invaders,” to make you feel good about shelling out that extra 10 bucks for the milfoil sticker.

Of course, the IRS and Maine Revenue Service have lots of brochures to help you pay your fair share of taxes. My favorite: the MRS guide to paying sales taxes on out-of-state purchases. That’s got to be popular!

Of course, this being Mount Vernon, we’ve got information against the U.S. Patriot Act.

One brochure offers advice for caring for the elderly — defined as anyone 60 or older. I object!

There are brochures from the Maine Center for Disease Control, The Department of Environmental Protection’s Lead and Asbestos Hazard Prevention Program and brochures to help you buy a “green” car (I prefer silver), perform a marriage ceremony and test for paternity.

If they’re looking for ways to save money in Augusta, maybe they could print a brochure about that.



George Smith is executive director of the Sportsman’s Alliance of Maine. He lives in Mount Vernon and can be reached at george@samcef.org.

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